Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
We found out shortly after I started back to work that we had the opportunity to adopt a baby boy locally from a birth mom who was connected with my family from years back. I had met her before, but didn't personally know her. Honestly, we were terrified at first knowing it would mean two tiny babies (as in 5 months apart) at the same time - we'd have Irish Twins! However, it was kind of a no brainer for us. We knew we wanted more kids, we knew how incredible it would be for Selah to have someone in our family that "looked like her", we had a current home study, and with this situation there wouldn't be any agency or matching fees.I am so humbled when I think about how God absolutely lavished His love on us! We prayed and waited for years for children, and God was giving us TWO babies. If that's not EXCEEDING ABUNDANTLY more than we ask or think, I don't know what is. I have read in adoption blogs over the past months about how each adoption story is different, and I know now that it's true. When we found out we'd be given the opportunity to adopt our little boy, I wondered if it would feel as special as Selah's adoption. Please, don't misunderstand, I was just as excited for him, and he is loved just as much. But there was so much involved and so much anticipation for Selah's adoption. Our families and church were invested (spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially) in her adoption. How in the world could his adoption journey be as special as hers? Well, let me just tell you that IT WAS. Sooooo, without further ado, I want to share the journey of our precious baby boy, Judah Jaxon...
Judah's story begins with his phenomenal birth mom. She had seen Selah's story on facebook and knew we had just adopted her, so she reached out to my aunt about the possibility of adoption for her unborn baby boy. My aunt then put us in contact with each other. We started texting each other, and she invited Jarred and I to come with her to her next doctor appointment. This was literally a dream come true! God answered this deep desire of my heart. I'd accepted (and grieved) that I may never experience this part of having a baby, and I cannot tell you how excited I was to be able to participate. I am eternally grateful for our birth mom's kindness in letting both of us be present. We were able to attend all of her future appointments, and we were even able to be in the room for the 36 week ultrasound. I was worried that it would be awkward with her at the doctor, but she was so warm and friendly, and genuinely wanted us to be included - SHE LOVED ON US. Let that sink in for a minute. This woman was loving on us - knowing the sacrifice that was coming. Is that not a picture of love? Does that not reflect the Father's love for us? Please don't take this the wrong way - I have deep respect for Selah's birth mom, but this was SUCH a different experience. I have a bond with Judah's birth mom that will last forever - a bond I didn't know could even exist.
As the time got closer, we all met with a local attorney and prepared for delivery. Again, her compassion and heart for her son (and us) was so evident. Every action and word was full of grace - seriously, I'm not making this up or exaggerating - she was that incredible throughout the entire process. We found out they'd be inducing her on Tuesday, November 8th, and we made plans to meet at the hospital that night. Our families were so excited too because they were all able to be a part of the birth this time! They started the medicine that night to induce labor, and we were thrilled that our birth mom allowed us to stay in the hospital room with her that night. Jarred and I snuggled up on the pull out and anxiously waited. On Wednesday, they started more medication and our birth mom started having strong contractions.Unfortunately, Judah just wasn't ready to make his appearance. After an exhausting day of meds and contractions, they started the whole process over again that night. Thursday, November 10th started off again with contractions, but it was a SLOW go. At lunchtime, there wasn't a whole lot of progress, and our sweet birth mom was so tired. Looking on the bright side though, we did have a lot of time to get to know each other better, and that's when the good stuff started to happen - a supernaturally strong bond started to form between me and this precious woman. Truthfully, I cannot explain it, and I was not expecting it. During those hours, she allowed me to become more and more involved in her labor. I held her hand. I held cool cloths to her face. I sat in a chair next to her bed. We laughed and talked like we'd known each other forever. It wasn't until that night that things started to pick up speed with labor.
Around 8:30pm, the doctor said she could start pushing. I was honored and ecstatic that she allowed me to stay in the room! Again, this was another desire of my heart that the Lord gave me. I had come to terms with the probability of never experiencing childbirth. Mom's that have given birth might say - be thankful hahh. However, not experiencing this was something I'd grieved. Thanks be to God that He allowed me to experience it through Judah's birth mom! She pushed for about an hour, then the doctor decided it'd be best to take a 30 minute break. I watched an extraordinarily strong woman push and cry through her pain for another half an hour. The doctor started talking about the possibility of a c-section, and said we'd only try pushing for a few more minutes. Finally at 10:46pm Judah made his entrance into the world! I was standing right there holding his birth mom's hand as he arrived. Immediately after he was born, I started crying (like ugly crying) and so did our birth mom. I hugged her and kissed her hands and told her how much I loved her. The love she displayed still makes my heart full. While all that was going on, Judah gave us a little scare because the umbilical cord was around his neck, but after the longest few minutes of my life, he started breathing and crying. I told an anxious Jarred sitting outside the door that he was here and ok! ALL of our family were waiting just down the hall. It was a wonderful moment.
Brief interjection here - Jarred was amazing too during this whole thing. I am sure it was uncomfortable for him to be in the labor and delivery room with someone other than his wife. Actually, he probably would've been uncomfortable even if it was me giving birth - haha. Even so, he was so sweet and stayed involved as much as he could. He was the cutest thing ever sitting outside that door. When I opened the door to tell him everything was ok, he was sitting in a chair rocking back and forth with his hands crossed. My heart melted - I am so glad God gave me such a good husband.
At this point, Judah was here, and the plan was for Jarred, Judah, and I to get our own room at the hospital. However, (wait for it) the hospital was full and they didn't have a room available. That left us two choices - Judah could go to the nursery and we'd only get to see him during visiting hours OR Judah could stay in the room with his birth mom. I knew that the plan was in place in part to make things easier on our birth mom, so I knew we'd have to go with the nursery option. My initial reaction was to be upset. I didn't want a repeat of what happened with Selah. I know that feeling of leaving the hospital without your baby - it's horrible. Jarred and I knew going in not to freak out if things didn't go exactly as planned, so we started making preparations to move our stuff out of the labor and delivery room and move to the lobby. Our birth mom surprised us again and told us all three of us could stay in the room with her. At first, I thought "No way, she just had a baby! She needs rest and privacy. Not to mention, she's dealing with the emotions of the adoption." Then, as I talked with her, I realized that God had orchestrated this part of the story too. It's not what I had planned (or she had planned), but it was God's plan all along. Our families filed in two at a time to see the baby and meet our birth mom. Looking back, I cannot imagine how difficult it must've been for her to share her room with all of us. In such a private time, she gave up her privacy so we could stay with Judah. I'm telling ya'll - this woman is the real deal.
It was super late by the time all four of us went to sleep that night. The next morning, the nurses came in and woke us all up around 7am. They told us we would stay one more night but would be moving to another room, so we packed up and headed to the postpartum floor. When we turned the corner to go into the new room, all three of us looked at each other with wide eyes. This room was the tiniest hospital room I had ever seen!!! In all seriousness, it looked like they'd turned a storage closet into a hospital room. In that moment, all we could do was laugh - more bonding time - lol. They brought us a cot and we literally had to scoot the hospital bed over to have room for the extra bed. There were about 2 inches between our cot, and our birth mom's bed. It wasn't quite as funny then as it is now. Again, I cannot imagine how difficult this was for her. Poor Jarred was pretty hilarious - he just rolled away facing the wall and covered his head with a pillow sometimes. He was such a good sport. Even with all the uncomfortable-ness, that night was probably the best night we spend with our birth mom. We were all slap-happy and exhausted. So, in typical Beth form, we celebrated with lots of food haha. My brother is a manager at a local restaurant, so we ordered 3 huge steaks and my dad picked them up for us and brought them to our tiny room. We had steak in styrofoam to-go boxes and laughed like little kids (for real - I thought we were going to get in trouble with the nurses because we were laughing so loud). Judah stayed right there with us the entire time. Our birth mom told us later that she was glad we stayed in the room with her after his birth, because it would've been hard to be alone afterwards. I cannot imagine her heartache. I am so thankful God's plans are way better than mine. I will never ever forget that night in the tiny room with our "fancy dinner".
The next morning, the mood in the room was a little different. It was discharge day, and the day our birth mom would sign the papers relinquishing her rights to Judah. There was definitely a heaviness in the air. Doctors, nurses, our lawyer, our friend Rene (who is a notary and made an extra special trip to help get the papers completed), and even the hospital's photographer all visited the room that morning. It seemed like everything started happening super fast. As the time to leave started getting closer, emotions started rising and tears started flowing (for everyone). After the papers were signed, I gave our birth mom a necklace. It's the same necklace I gave Selah's birth mom, and the same one I wear. It's got four charms - a cross, a heart, the word "love", and the adoption symbol. It symbolizes the love surrounding adoption and the faithfulness of God revealed through adoption. Selah's birth mom has a pink heart, Judah's has a blue heart, and mine has one of each. This is one of my most prized possessions. I guess it's kinda silly to think a piece of jewelry connects me to other people, but I feel like it does. I wear mine and it reminds me of their sacrifice, God's exceeding abundantly blessings and faithfulness, and it reminds me to pray for these women who loved their babies so fiercely. After being present during Judah's delivery, I can say with more perspective that I cannot imagine going through the pain of childbirth only to turn around and go through the pain of adoption. All of us left the hospital at the same time with our attorney, and it was intense. I truly love our birth mom, and her pain (and love) was immeasurable. How loved Judah Jaxon is! His name suits him - Judah means "praised" and Jaxon means "God has been gracious; has shown favor".
So life has dramatically changed at the Summey house! Sleep is overrated and family is more important than I could've imagined. I'll be honest, it has been a struggle at times. However, I wouldn't change a thing! I love our little family. I love that Selah and Judah have each other. I love that they don't look like us. I love that God grew our family though adoption. I love that God's plans are not my plans.
I want to continue blogging about our stories and journeys, but I also realize that this blog is about adoption. So, I will be creating another blog called "Crazy Wonderful Summey Life". I hope to share some of our funny stories that friends have told me I should write down, and the joys and challenges of everyday life. I know our life has radically been changed by these two babies, and I want to share our struggles and triumphs in hope of encouraging others to live their Crazy Wonderful Lives for Jesus. That doesn't mean we won't struggle or mess up, but it does mean we have hope no matter what happens! Anyway, thanks for reading my super long blog post and for following our adoption journey. I hope you'll continue to follow our family at: http://summeylife.blogspot.com/
